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[26 Feb 2006|01:20pm] |
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So I've made it a habit to continually read all of your livejournals, and i assure you my friends page gets a bunch of use. Unfortunately, though, i've let the poor little URL www.livejournal.com/users/jillyin20 die for the most part.
I decided randomly to resuscitate it.
I'm back!
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[06 Jan 2006|07:07pm] |
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the jeopardy theme~ jeopardy fills my 7:30-8:00 tv block |
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Boy I wish i could go back in time to my last entry..
at least then i had an effing life...
That was me, getting ready to go off to school, worried about spending my time effectively, squeezing visits with 4 people into one day, and ya know how i did it..
... i drove.
i made my own plans and they revolved around me and who i wanted to see, and where i wanted to go, and do what i wanted to do..
... ya know what i've been doing since i got to school.. i've been making my own plans to see who i want to see, go where i want to go.. do whatever the hell it is that i want to do..
well ya know what:
Spending 24 hours a day alone.. does not cover seeing who i want to see.
Not leaving my house... does not constitue going where i want to go.
Forming my personalized television schedule from 9am-12am... is NOT doing what i want to do!!!!!!!!!
i'm soo effing fed up with this, i'm 18 and i'm stuck in my god-forsaken house growing so sick of it that i have 2 options
a) go insane
and
b) throw a temper-tantrum appropriate for those no older than 3
and take out my anger on my brother, my father and my mother simultaneously because i'm in such a bad mood.
...so you think.. oh good you have a nice relaxing vacation just resting and not having to worry about anything...
i wish i had a job...
ya know how sister paulette always talked about how without work your life feels worthless, well let me tell you, she's most definitely 100% right.
if i worked i could pay my own fucking insurance, and i would, let me tell you i don't give a shit whether my car is sitting in the driving not being used or not... i would pay 3 million fucking dollars to be able to get in my car and drive somewhere... anywhere right now!!!!!!
Fuck this.. i'm going to sleep.. yeah.. its 8 o'clock
ps. thank you to my wonderful friends who have
a) put up with coming to pick me up in the stix of the earth
b) kept me occupied
...i'm beyond appreciative for your attempts and successes at breaking up this worthless monotony that has become my life for the past 3 fucking weeks...
i love you
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[20 Aug 2005|09:47pm] |
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crickets and other loud insects |
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I'm beyond confused.
but its an okay kind of confused.
i just don't know how i'm supposed to be spending my time.
and i don't want to leave with regrets about how i spent it
or miss anything important.
am i supposed to be cramming goodbye visits into my schedule?
is it too early for me to start packing?
i never know if i should be saying my goodbyes to people yet?
if i do, i'm sure i'll see them again and that'll be awkward
if i don't, i probably won't and that'll simply suck.
summer reading seems like such a waste of these "precious moments"
^how gay am i?!^
but it obviously has to be done.. blegh
i don't ever want this summer to end
but i can't wait to be there.
its getting there that's sucky
its this week that is getting to me.
i don't really know what to do with myself.
flying by the seat of my pants has worked all summer
why do i doubt its effectiveness now... lol
i just solved my own effing problem :)
wing it jill!
yay new life!
me
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[11 Aug 2005|09:23am] |
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jason mraz ~ who needs shelter from the sun? |
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It was so short-lived... i hate how one (though seemingly nice) guy can ruin something so wonderful. storytime:
setting the scene:
Jill sits on the side of the road by the reservoir on a blue towel, with her backpack at her feet, crackers and water laid out and pen in hand. The view is unbelievable and i don't know that its hit me yet that its down the street from me. So now i'm in deep thought
AND POW!!!!!!
some stupid guy taps me and the shoulder and scares the shit out of me.. he said hi, i was freaking inside because, although there are cars that drive by like one at a time, there's still nowhere for me to go except like in the water. so i had my cell in hand and stayed, at least on the outside, cool as a cucumber. But really it was scary, because #1 i bike there because there's nowhere to park.. so he had to have parked down the street and walked.. who does that?!?! and all to say that he thought i'd found a cool spot and he wanted to see the view from there. ( SKETCHY!!!!! ) i don't think so aaaaah... so long story short.. he hung around for a little while, making convsersation.. me staying basically silent except for an uh huh or two.. then he left.. and once he was out of sight... so did i..
:( never to return.
so i decided to take the advice of everyone i've told this story too and of course, listen to the huge butterflies that were present in my stomach.. and start going to the more populated, less-threatening side of the water..
the end.
a saddened me
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| continuation #1 |
[09 Aug 2005|10:14am] |
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*day of food and shopping with katy
*more eating with mickle
*shopping at ppm with amanda
*Ben & jerry's to visit liz
*sleepover at the pacitti's
*jean ripping day with katy :)
*complete BR reunion #1
*EJWBL!!! yaaay wiffleball and complete BR reunion #2.. (better than ever)
*beach with andrew and amanda.. dinner then meeting up with colin for a night swim
*incomplete angel meeting / yearbook shindig this evening
... to be continued :)
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[03 Aug 2005|03:17pm] |
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lisa loeb ~ wishing heart |
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Welcome back to the way things used to be Jill. haha My friends have reasonably decided it best to begin making fun of me, as they used to, for my mid-moment sighs of happiness and general statements of better than well-being. I say reasonably because the above said occurences that provoke their comments are again becoming overly frequent. In other words.... I'm happy!
talk about living life to its fullest.
These past few weeks has been so packed and so busy and so genuinely beautiful:
*unexpected four day beachhouse stay
*watching my talented friends in Aida
*intervention/reunion evening with the girls
*block island day trip
*patrick visit
*late night movies with amanda
*beachday with the brown's
*Ben, Jen and family day
*party at the pacitti's
*being a beach bum with liz
*spaniard send off partay
*trip to the zoo with mcauley village and mercy action
*evening of shopping with andrew
*pooltime at the pacitti's
*Jill day with Jill and her books
*incomplete but worthwhile boilerroom reunion this evening
^ there's the recap..
for now.. hehe there's still so much summer left!
xoxo me
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[30 Jul 2005|01:40pm] |
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lisa loeb - wishing heart |
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List 10 things in a day that give you a moment of joy, and tag five of your friends...
1. sunshine
2. relaxing on the beach
3. amazing conversations
4. girls nights
5. bikeriding to my reservoir
6. Ben
7. singing in my car
8. realizing where i live.
9. unexpected phonecalls
10. Mom
tagged by: star2b519
tagging: burntwondrbread, justasmrtkid13, sunday_comic, rainingpeace, sugapye5587
I just got my roomates... they seem awesome and just like me and i'm super psyched...
mmmm i'm all smiles.
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[24 Jul 2005|08:22pm] |
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dmb - the dreaming tree |
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I finally have a spot. its been claimed and i love it and its gorgeous and close to home and semi-dangerous and a little bit scary sometimes.. but that makes it all the more wonderful. i wanna be there. ugh
life is surprisingly wonderful and i love it.. and if you tell me i'm lying, i'll say it again, i'm so happy and inspired and excited and anxious and full of hope and everything i should be the summer before school and soaking up every single solitary second.
Jill... to be continued
:)
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| ...to spark your curiosity |
[14 Jul 2005|01:15am] |
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yea so i sort of lied.. just a little bit, just a tiny little fib in the last entry..
.. and its been a fun lie too..
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| only fair |
[11 Jul 2005|12:32am] |
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BR |
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I'm in florida, which you should have figured out by now because i've been gone long enough for you to miss me.
2 weeks is a long time, but i've had fun so far.
3 weeks is even longer and i assure you the fun is to continue.
So i'm having a good time, its been low-key fun due to highly uncooperative weather and a few adorable rugrats, but its so worth it. Joelle and i busy ourselves with silliness and laughter that could easily be mistaken for drunkeness.. haha but i assure you, it isn't.
I feel good.. alive and well and very ready for some adventure.. which is inevitably coming, sometimes you can just tell.
I shouldn't have had that coffee an hour ago.. oops
Don't have much else to say.. but i miss everyone terribly.. leave me one..
jill
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| yeck |
[27 Jun 2005|10:06pm] |
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Unwarranted jealousy is a major bitch
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[24 Jun 2005|06:16pm] |
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Pick 20 random people… i'm going to copy kait and use my cell
1. Ben
2. Pat
3. Joelle
4. Kait
5. Kate
6. Danielle
7. Katy
8. Bridget
9. Amanda
10. Andrew
11. Colin
12. Morgan
13. Christina
14. Wayne
15. Emily
16. Matt
17. Liz O
18. Alyssa
19. Megos
20. Kelley Belles
1. Is #9 a boy or a girl? girl
2. Would #1 and #2 make a good couple? not quite.. but they're cute together
3. How about #18 and #4? too random
4. What grade is #17 in? college freshman
5. When was the last time you talked to #12? ummm.. sunday
6. What is #6's favorite band? dunno
7. Does #1 have any siblings? Me!!!
8. Would you ever date #3? no.. haha
9. Would you ever date #7? not only is she a girl, but she's my cousin.. maybe if i lived in West Virginia
10. Is #16 single? yessum
11. What's #15's last name? Boucher
12. What's #10's middle name? James.. i believe
13. What's #5's favorite thing to do? be hot!
14. Is #13 hot? quite!
15. Would #14 and #19 make a good couple? oh my lord that's the scariest combo i've ever heard of!!!!!
16. What school does #20 go to? Bay View
17. Tell me a random fact about #11: His middle name is Patrick and he has a puppy named Bitsy
18. And #3. Her middle name is Lee and she has a kitty named Jingles
19. Have you ever had a crush on #15? mmm hmmmm *blush*
20. Where does #9 live? miles away from civilization.. jk that's me.. warwick neck
21. What's #4's favorite color? uhhh blue? i hate that question, so lame
22. Would you make out with #14? EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW
23. Are #5 & #6 best friends? actually yeah!! cool
24. Does #7 like #20? they've never met.. but yeah they'd like each other
25. Does #8 like #19? oddly enough they have met.. and yeah
26. How did you meet #2? long awesome story that you've all already heard 100 times
27. How did you meet #18? geez i don't remember meeting her at all.. she was just always there.. lol
28. Does #10 have any pets? hmmm.. not sure really
29. Is #12 older than you? yep
30. Is # 17 the sexiest person alive, or what? most def
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| My list |
[12 Jun 2005|01:58am] |
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Here's to:
*early morning entries
*summer friends
*being late for curfew
*owning a pool
*stealing quarters for gas money
*scary scituate darkness
*new beginnings
*2am venting sessions
*kites on the beach
*goats
*sleeping on the couch on weekends
*graduating
*fading sunburns
*swatting farm flies
*being a groupie
*unsuccesful job hunts
*having no fear
... we'll leave it at that for now.
i love life.
&u
me
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[06 May 2005|12:04pm] |
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Long time no chat...
busy busy.. such is life. Schools a major drag.. i've been lied to. Senior year is tough shit.
I got everything i needed to done for today. Its nice being able to go to class without hanging my head in shame. Instead it hung with exhaustion.. i'm busy trying to decide which is better.
Cabaret is over.. tears were relatively limited, as were feelings in general really. About everything that's seniorlike. I'm just going through the motions. i wonder when it'll hit me. My guess: August 26th. (yes that was a completely random date.) :)
If i were with pat, i believe i would be doing much head-scratching today. I'm almost doing it alone, which is unusual. There's some things you can only do with certain people. Head-scratching is one of them. Ha! I love you.
Thank you kind sir, i'm addicted to yahoo pool again.
AP Bio on monday... it is a big deal really. Some people think otherwise.. they're wrong. Not doing well is like.. i don't know, working in a soup kitchen overtime for your whole life to get into heaven and then being doomed to hell anyway because you had fun one night of your life. Nonsensical i feel.
AP Psych on tuesday... that's a different story. what has received little of my attention all year will receive just as little this weekend.
I'm enjoying myself thoroughly.. i like being dry.
I feel like i sound like eeyore. is that bad? because i'm not really melancholy.. just tired... and mellow..yes i'm very mellow.
Patty voice: I'm tired...
you know what that means. i love life.
ta-ta homefry
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[01 Apr 2005|11:15am] |
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I feel lazy..
i am lazy..
whatever i was so pissed off last night trying to start it that i don't care.
What is the what is... how does it relate to our reading of copenhagen.. why is everything that she says an embellished hypocrisy meant to make her sound more intelligent than she actually is while "subtley" slipping in her own person biases and hoping that her facade of intellectualism will cover up the fact that half of what she's teaching us is her political viewpoints and personal opinions. You cannot lecture on subjectivity and believe that every word coming out of your mouth is the "what is", at the same time... Its impossible, its pure contradiction... and i despise it...
i'm still pissed off.. but i'm actually going to write this thing the way I feel it should be written... And i do realize that I have no right to do this... i have relatively no knowledge of philosophy.. but who really does? you can attend classes on it but all you can learn is somebody elses subjective view on the world and never, as hard as you may try, get to the what is anyway.. teachers are in no way infallible.. and i'm ashamed at how long it took me to realize that but i did.. i'm going to write this paper and its going to reflect what i have learned from this class, not what she wishes i would have learned from it.
phew...:)
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| high on life |
[31 Mar 2005|04:53pm] |
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LEEEET THE RIVER RUUUUN!!! |
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I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!
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[30 Mar 2005|08:33am] |
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lisa loeb - firecracker |
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I will agree that my brother is irresponsible, at times lazy, and a normal, though only semi-promiscuous adolescent boy. But daddy, this whole "Jill, i need you to stay home today with ben cuz i'm not gonna be here; you need to wake up at 6 on your day off so that he doesn't miss his bus" thing is a bit much, come on now, he's in 7th grade... give the poor guy a break, he doesn't need a babysitter anymore, particularly a babysitter who wants to get out of the house and/or sleep at the appropriate times.
I adore wednesdays:
*** so i was awoken (word?) at 6, but i moved to the couch and slept there till 8:30
*** getting in a good lj update
*** hopping on the gazelle for a half hour
*** shower
*** dentist at 10:20
*** home & homework like wow...
*** dramafest at 5:15
*** cabaret at 7:00
*** phone with pat for the remainder of the evening because its our 10 month anniversary. :):):) why i'm so hyped up about this particular one i don't know.. 10s just a good number.. its not like 9mos where its like embedded into your head that "that's how long it takes to have a baby.. deeehd aklgjiwo" <--- those were the noises of a retard. i like 10; the bigger the number the better <33
Sooo i'm running out of time.. if i don't get on the gazelle now my whole schedule will be messed up... AAAAAAAH *i'm doing that yell that mcauley culkin does in home alone after he's done shaving*.. why?, dunno.. just seemed right.
the end
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| its delightful.. its delicious its de-lovely |
[29 Mar 2005|09:12pm] |
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that annoying 5 day forcast background music-weather channel |
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Bay view Players = Rodi Roadies
the first sign of spring - majorly conflicting schedules.. isn't it wonderful
The rickshaw must love springtime at the bay... tuesdays are hot with my favorite seniors and that wonderful marsh who should be one.
*** This must be said: Even though i was kidding around and such with the Jill=moocher thing.. i really am truly sorry about it ***
Meg i'm going to hell with you... i left work 1 hr. and 45 minutes early.. ha! oops
I loooooove wednesdays and seniorhood.
I believe i adore the pacittis
sleepy
ta ta
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[17 Mar 2005|02:47pm] |
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An eighth of me wishes you a Happy St. Patrick's Day... i'd say that irish blood is in my short stubby legs.. so Happy St. Patrick's Day from the bottom of my irish legs!
The rest of me says where the hell is the French holiday.. not that i'd particularly care to celebrate it.. there's nothing good about being french except berets and meat pie.
... And i was doing so well.. updating every few days, what happened you may ask.. well its simple, i tend to update when there's nothing of any importance going on and then when i have things i wanna write about they back up until i can't catch up.. i get frustrated and this thing ends up lonely for varying periods of time.
Today was pretty cool.. i thoroughly enjoy how this is seriously the most important holiday at this school.. the president is hosting a mini-party across the hallway with little shamrock cookies and green punch and saying happy st. joseph's day to everyone who looks even slightly italian so as to remain politically correct. She's cute. I love my job.. i'm now eating a shamrock cookie :).. i suppose i should feed it to my legs.. seems only right.
We left chamber class singing O Danny Boy and, at Kav's suggestion, we carried it out into the hallway with us, in three part harmony of course! Ha so fun..
That's what i'm going to miss about this place, random outbursts of song.. and continuing to sing even when no-ones listening or they're telling us to shut up..
I'm gonna get going.. catch ya later...
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[28 Feb 2005|05:51pm] |
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beneath the surface ~ BR |
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hehehe..
#1 ~ oh my kait.. how many times have we discussed the fact that we could never ever ever room together.. :) haha love ya though
#2 ~ eeeh..
#3 ~ molly.. a cheerleader.. that would be interesting
#4 ~ chelles a band geek.. i could see it.. lol jk
#5 ~ yah right
#6&7 ~ lau the crazy drunk and d the college slut.. how i love the 2 of you :):)
#8 ~ so i'm going steady with my cousin huh.. interesting
#9 ~ HAHAHA chryssy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
'twas quite fun i must say.. thank you kait
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